The Rabbit's Hole

Beauty could come in all sizes and colour,
Beauty don't have to be fair skinned,
Beauty don't have to be skinny,
Beauty don't have have to be a girl,
Beauty don't have to be perfect,
Beauty is full of flaws.

i usually didn't blog about my real life and private stuff but i think i'm gonna make an exception this time. Maybe because of the stress I've been dealing with right now i decided to make an exception. well, let's start right now shall we?
Guess what? i'm 19 this year and just enrolled into ' Universiti Malaysia Terengganu(UMT)' for degree.  It doesn't go as I planned actually. I wanted to go somewhere in KL not here, not that I have anything against it but i want to  be closer to my best friends. I've got to admit among all my besties i'm much more closer to Fatin Liyana and Liyana Roslan. well, maybe because we still contact each other and cared about each other so much.

 when i first found out i got UMT to further my studies in degree in Conservation and managment of biodiversity, i plainly accept the fact though i was so disappointed, maybe because i've shed too many tears before. My horrid PSPM results that turned out to be worst than i expected it to be, then goes the stupid medsi test which i failed. this one was the most overwhelming part. I can't even begin to describe the despair i went through.
but, accepting the fact doesn't means that i wasn't scared shit about going that far from my hometown.
 Then again, i gained hope a few days after receiving shitty treatment from my soon to be seniors when i found few bunch of anime/otaku/toku fandom nakama(on facebook). I saw rays of hope been lit upon me. Seriously, I was so happy that to know that i have someone to share my life with and i wasn't kidding when i say anime is my life.
 On 31st August we started our journey to terengganu. It was a long and tiring day. I'm having my period on that day and there was period pain so you could guess what kind of hell i've been dealing with on that day. We reached our homestay at about 7.00 p.m.Then, on the 1st September i started to have flu,coughing like crazy and got high fever.I'm trying to deny the fact that i'm going to start my life alone with bunch of strangers.Then on the next day, it was the day i supposed to register myself in UMT. Fuck that. there was just too much feels.. but deep inside i was hoping that those promise someone just made will be kept. then on that exact night... (minggu jalinan mesra)MJM starts.
well.. a week passed and that promises was never fulfilled. What i was hoping was useless. I know no one and i'm socially awkward. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to few person i know through Facebook. I saw Abg Faiz. My fellow otaku nakama but i'm such a shy, awkward and socially awkawrd person(hikikomori). i instanly grew jelouse at those girls who could talk freely to abg2 and kakak2 fasi and jokes with them. I tried to talk to abg faiz but that was just plain useless i just make myself to look like a stalker instead. I have o confidence over myself. I wish i wasn't this socially awkward. I don't know how to start a conversation especially to guys.They must think i'm weird and ugly and fat not to mention my skin just got sunburn.. it's just too pathetic. I want to wrap myself in my safety blanket and go back to my world. My virtual and fantasies world.Fuck socialising.
 Dear readers, sorry if to have you hear my rant on my fucking life.If you actually read all of it and didn't stop halfway.

    Usagi was panting heavily.Drops of sweats drizzled from her face and her bangs were soaking wet from the sweats.The blades of her swords shone as the dawn light touches it. Spending all night training all alone was exhausting. She looks up at the shy sun whose peeking at her and she knows that she need  to hurried up home before her big sister finds out that she'd sneaked out to train all alone.She immediately suppressed her riatsu and headed home.
  There's no sign of anyone anywhere which is good so she quickly sneaked into the corridors and went inside her room.Pretending to sleep as she soon give in to he fatigue and slowly fell asleep.

****************************************************************************************

Damn. It was half past noon already. She was that late for work.Her big sister is not going to be happy for this.She ran as fast as she could(translated:shunpo) to the 4th division. Once she get infront of the main 4th division building her first reflexes was to look for her furious big sister or her vise captain Isane. no. she couldn't find both of them.That might be a good thing but it's too weird but she ignored it either way. She might as well take this golden opportunity to walk away.
*bam!!
she banged her head on the wall. "ouch" Usagi said as  she rubbed her already red forehead"stupid wall" she murmured to herself.
"ano ne.. usagi.. i don't think it's the wall's fault".Usagi turned around and saw the light blue haired beauty.
"yuki!. what are you doing here?"she exclaimed to the light blue haired girl with sapphire eyes, Matsumoto Yukiko
"don't you know?"
Usagi's face was clueless.
"jeez Usagi... don't you know that both Yumichika and Ikaku the 5th and 3rd from 11th division was badly hurt from those ryokas? not to mention that just know Renji just lost to one of those ryoka's. i say that we really underestimated them but i heard that Yamamoto old man just released a statement that all vice captains and higher up must always have their zanpaktou by their side and are allowed to went all out on a battle"
'wait what??.."
Yuki just raised her eyebrow.
"you mean we're going an all out war on them?"
Yuki gives her an isn't that obvious look.
Usagi sigh
"i'm on a duty shirou-chan gave me so i thought bout paying all those miserable life a visit since it's own my way"
well.. yuki-chan will always be yuki-chan. she talk's bout those higher ranking than her like a lowly life being. Usagi's just too used to it since they're studying together though Yuki got higher rank than her. She's the 3rd at 10th division.
"well.. i should go now.. i'm already late for the stuff Shirou-chan told me to do"
"kay.. bye.. and take care yuki-chan"
and Usagi's off to her work

since you guys absolutely loves those blood type post i'm gonna post something related today. though it's just bunch of pics i just hope you like it.

Usagi was totally filled with envy at the sight of her. Her slim figure, gorgeous  brown locks and yes her stunning deep green eyes. She summoned her courage and approached her.
"he.. hello?".Usagi smiled serenely.The girl slowly looked at her with those mesmerizing green eyes of her and gave usagi something like a half smile in return. Awkward.
"etto.. um.. they said you're in the 11th division squad..  they must be wrong"
"they're right. I am".
"eh??!".Usagi was startled. she never thought that this pretty girl would be in such brute and savage squad. She seems too delicate for that.
"I am from 11th division squad" she explained.
"That 11th squad??".Usagi blinked.
"well.. i don't think there's others. Btw, do you always wears that". she eyed Usagi from head to toe. Usagi blushed and panicked.
"this.. um.. i can explain".Damn. She never thought that her supposed to be patient would wake up. To have someone as pretty as her to have a glimpse of silly side of her's was too embarrassing.
 Laughter suddenly broke from the pretty girl mouth. This time it was sincere enough that it made Usagi laugh too. Both of them  looked at each others eyes, there were some kind of undefined attraction and affection they feels toward each others and it's too deep to be explained by mere words as it goes far beyond the word love itself.
" I kinda like you. I think we could get along pretty well. what's your name? I'm Kururugi Cyoko." She smiled and held her right hand toward Usagi offering a friendly handshake.Usagi smiled back. She like her too, very much. this girl called Cyoko.
"Usagi.Unohana Usagi". She said as she accept that small piece of friendship.
"Usagi huh?".Cyoko let out a sniff that weirdly sounds like a laugh."it's kinda suits you well".and there she goes burst out laughing.
"wh..what's that supposed to mean?!"
"pfft.. ignore it"
"well.. can i know how did you get into this state?"
"it's embarrassing. How could a number 4 like me lose to that supposed to be 'subtitude shinigami' " cyoko looked at usagi with soft eyes." but you know Usagi, he was a worthy opponent and i don't think that he and his friends done anything wrong at all. He's just saving Kuchiki-san".
"subtitude shinigami? You mean those ryoka's??.Startled.
"yeah" Cyoko answer it short and simple
"to think that they're actually trying to save Kuchiki-san. They're the good guys aren't they?.Both of them stay quite for a few moments. "maybe.. maybe we're the bad guys here... i want to save kuchiki-san to but i never had the guts to do so.. i didn't even had the guts to oppose when they punished Kuchiki-san. I'm such a coward"
Cyoko nods. "me too"

i'm gonna spam you with lots of yukki's pic and vid.. OMG3!! he's soooooooo adorable~~ i think we're connected by soul.. he should be my little brother... let's start on how i know him.. as i was really bored and browsing youtube and at that time i was currently obsessed with Kuroshitsuji so i was trying to fill the void left after i finished all of Kuroshitsuji series( but i'm still reading the manga).. and so~.. i tried to watch Kuroshitsuji Musical(Kuromyu)..and Yuya matsushita played Sebastian michaelis while my yukki played my favorite Ciel Phantomhive

YUYA ,MATSUSHITA

yuya

Matsushita Yuya and Nishii Yukito  thus i started to loves this lovely boy.. i started to watch lots of movies and drama that he stars.. like in Kokuhaku.. man.. he's such a genius actor.. then in HanaKimi Remake as Nakao Senri.. he's much cuter that atsuko maeda..

aren't he's adoarable his 17 this year

OMG3!!!!

yuya n yukki both as sebastian and ciel at stage and backstage

16 y/old nishii

look at that adorable face.. he's playing ciel.. i wanna glomp him

in kokuhaku.. he did such a good job as a cute psiko killer

and this is some pics of kuroshitsuji~~

kuroshitsuji~~ ciel as girl

VK kuroshitsuji~

nothing big.. just telling ya'll that i'm on my way on writing on rider chapter 1 and the house of vampire chapter 2...

hi guy's.. for those who actually read my blog my blog content's today will just bored the hell out of ya! seriously.. take this as a warning if u dun wanna listen to my bratty complaint... ok.. this is it.. i'm currently feeling so jelouse! sigh~ all my friends just been confessed to.. EXCEPT FOR ME! seriously.... bila la nk ada guy yg nk confess kat aku ni?.. i mean... i got jelouse after i read my friend's blog bout her being confessed to... twice!!.. WTF?
me? none!... wua~~~~ why am i so unlucky? curse to my "cute" body n unattractive face! all i ever do was crushing 4 someone but never get the feeling returned... yes! study come's first n even if i have someone confessed to me i might just rejected him..( kalau la ada kan?)... why no one confessed to me?.. i wanna lose some weight!
it's settled now! i' just that unattractive to have someone fall for me!!! i just hate myself!